Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Tom Morello - I was wrong



I never liked Rage Against the Machine.  I feel I should start out there.  Why?  Well, a few reasons, I think.  One is by the time they came around, I was out of rage.  I was 20 or something, and I was just fine.  Had they caught me at 15, I would have shit myself.  I was all about societal rage then.  That energy went to Bad Brains, instead.  Plus, I find their music super redundant.  One riff over and over again for 4 minutes while De La Rocha sings one lyics over and over again for four minutes.

Actually, the guitar work was pretty cool.  However, I find the lead singer annoying.  I think his whole 'whoah is me and injustice is real, man' is just an affectation.  I grew up listening to musicians who did nothing but that.  I just see through it now.  Plus, dude walked away after 1 or 2 albums and never worked again.  Totally pulled an Axl.  Is he just in Equador fighting for real justice for refugees?  Nope.  Odds are he is sitting on a boat somewhere getting a mani/pedi talking about the struggle of the proletariat.

So, why am I here, and can we just talk about Tom Morello like promised?  Yes.  Yes we can.  Tom Morello impressed the crap out of me a few years ago.  I went to a taping of national radio show 'E Town'.  it is a liberal pussy's dream... especially the musical line up that night.  James Taylor, Graham Nash, David Crosby, and Tom Morrelo.  They were all there to pontificate about the typical liberal pussy shit you would expect.  The stuff I love.  I thought Tom Morello's rage rock was a bit out of place in that line up.  But, he wasn't.  Dude came out and spoke eloquently about homeless issues and concerns.  Then, rocked an acoustic for a few songs.  Apparently, in his new incarnation, he is an acoustic folk warrior called 'the Nightwatchman'.

Ok, I impressed.  Sign me, he is a cool dude.  However, that isn't enough to get to me to take up pen and paper and exalt his greatness.  Not until he joined the E Street band.  This year, Little Steven was unavaialble to tour due to another project.  Little Steven has been in the band for 40 fucking years.  Springsteen plays 3 hour concerts, hitting 50 songs a night... and it is a different set each night.  In steps Tom Morrelo to tour with the boss.  Name another guitarist who could pull that off?  I can't, and I am a guitarist.

I learned about 50 songs in three months for the tour, and every night, 90 minutes till soundcheck, Bruce will text me with seven or eight songs we've never played before. And then during the show, he'll call up songs we've never even discussed – some I've never even heard!"

Morello added: "Our band plays very differently night to night. It's not a repetition, it's a renewal. If you're doing it right, that's how it feels. Every night, there's six to eight songs I have literally about a nanosecond to prepare for.

So, I just wanted to say to Tom Morello, I was wrong.  You are nearly as many layers of awesome as Dave Grohl.  There it is, the entire list of relevant musicians I can think of who are decent people forwarding rock and roll.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Rock & Roll Celebrity Apprentice



I have hit a programming goldmine here.  Just go ahead and thank me now.  See, I watch Celeb Apprentice.  I am neither happy about it, nor proud of it.  I was talking with my buddy, who we'll call 'Jaime' for this piece (since that is his name) about who we wanted to see on that show.  Then it hit me - an all rock star edition.  Even better?  Pit fueding rock stars against each other.  Like this

Elton John               vs                everybody
Axl Rose                 vs                Slash
Steve Nicks             vs               Lindsay Buckingham
Don Henley             vs                Glen Frey
Nikki Six                 vs                Vince Neil
Dave Mustaine        vs               James Hetfield
Dave  Grohl            vs               Courtney Love
Ted Nugent             vs                everyone
Eddie Van Halen     vs                David Lee Roth
Eddie Van Halen     vs                Michael Anthony
Eddie Van Halen     vs                Sammy Hagar
James Taylor           vs               Carly Simon
Joe Walsh               vs               sobriety and reality

Obviously, this list could go on for a thousand years.  You would watch.  Music is the one thing everyone on Earth has in common.  This is good stuff, people.  Get me those eggheads from NBC on the line, stat!

You get the idea.  All these dudes who have talked shit forever, I want to see them compete in business.  Like Bret Michaels and Dee Snider, you would be surprised  how smart and capable many of them would be.  Nikki Six is another underestimated person. You know him as the drug addled freak show who does something in Motley Crue, but he isn't the singer.  Nikki is the brains behind Motley.  It is his band in absolutely every sense of the word.  He hires and fires, writes the songs, manages the band, and makes the big decisions.  Dude is a CEO.  Not like a CEO, he is a CEO.  Motley makes more money annually than most Fortune 500 companies... as do a lot of rock bands.

Rock & Roll Celebrity Apprentice